IC Contact

[lionhandler]

If you want to get in touch with Shiro, through crystals, messenger bird, or in-person, this is the place to do so.

Comments

[lionhandler]

Really? Looks like rain to me.

[ He's referring to his little cloud friend, of course. It's been raining on him a lot recently, any time he gets upset enough for it. Just another reason to get out of the house right now, because he already knows it'll be raining again once Keith is gone, if not before then. It's just a fact of life, these days.

Once he's got his boots on, he stands back up and grabs an umbrella, leaning it casually against his shoulder for now. ]

Lead the way.

[redpaladin]

[Ah. He'd been trying not to bring attention to that. He knew what caused it and neither of them had been really up for talking about it yet. He waits for Shiro to get his boots on before he slings his knapsack over his shoulder and heads out the door.]

[Keith won't be the first to speak up, though he has plenty he wants to ask him, instead he'll just take in the night air as he heads down the street.]

[lionhandler]

[ Shiro stays silent for a while as they walk, giving Keith the chance to start the conversation first, if he wants. When Keith doesn't take the opportunity, he speaks up himself. ]

Do you want to talk about it?

[redpaladin]

[There it was. He figured Shiro wouldn't let the silence go for the whole walk at least. He takes a breath, lets it out through his nose before he answers him.]

I don't know. I- There's a lot I need to sort out, that's why I'm leaving. I can't trust myself to look at this the right way until I've had some quiet.

[He swallows, shaking his head.]

Do you?

[lionhandler]

Yeah.

[ There are lots of things he avoids talking with Keith about, but it's always out of a desire to not burden him. This is something that's weighing down on both of them already, so they might as well share it. ]

I keep thinking myself around in circles. A different perspective might help.

[redpaladin]

[He slows his step just a bit. It's not really often that Shiro wants to open up to him, so that he just said it out right has him willing to give him whatever attention he needs.]

Sure. Go ahead.

[lionhandler]

Kevin told me he'd killed 116 people. [ Give or take, but the detail of the history books isn't the part that's been sticking in Shiro's head. ] So... I've been doing a lot of math since then.

The Galra had me for a year. When I fought Myzax and became Champion, I was the first of a group of eight who were supposed to face him that day. There's a lot of variables I still can't remember. Was that a typical group size? Did I have to kill everyone I fought? Did they make me fight every day? Every week, maybe?

[ He pauses to open his umbrella. The cloud isn't raining yet, but it's just a matter of time. ]

No matter what I do with the numbers, 116 seems... impossibly small.

[redpaladin]

[Whatever Shiro was going to say to him, somehow Keith didn't expect it to be that. It startles him enough that he stops walking to look at him with wide eyes. There's a lot he has to take in there- because he hadn't considered that- Of course he hadn't.]

[Before he can really put serious thought into what he's saying, take in that number, holy shit, there's one thing he has to get out first. He swallows, shaking his head.]

Shiro, that's not the same. Not even close.

[lionhandler]

[ Shiro makes it a few more paces before he notices Keith's stopped. He turns around to face him, but it's only a moment before he averts his eyes. ]

It looks pretty similar from where I'm standing.

[ And there goes the rain. ]

[redpaladin]

[Oh, no you don't you shitcloud of gloom. Keith tries to reach up and waves it away for all the good it does him.]

No. Because you were forced into that ring against your will. You were fighting for your life, you didn't have a choice.

[Seeing as he can't do much for the cloud he settles back and looks at him, eyes narrowed.]

Kevin knew what he was doing. He made the choice to go out and kill those people for his wish. Maybe he wasn't thinking rationally at the time, and maybe he was grieving the people he'd lost, but he still did it.

[lionhandler]

[ Keith, you can't literally shoo away Shiro's bad feelings, that's not how it works. He appreciates the effort and all, but look, he brought this umbrella along for a reason. ]

"Kill or be killed" is still a choice. It's a lousy, unfair choice, but it's still a choice I had to make.

I don't think I made the wrong choice, and it's obvious that Kevin did, but... I don't think our motivations made much of a difference to the people we killed.